Night Air
by louder.now
Summary: "The night was cold, but it welcomed the non-Press Secretary like an old friend." Short Karen/Dev from Dev's perspective.


**Night Air**

The night was cold, but it welcomed the non-Press Secretary like an old friend. The chilled air refreshed him, and the streetlights guided him on an undetermined path through the back alleys and side roads of New York. He wasn't walking in any particular direction. He did have a home to return to, a home he must return to; although to tell the truth he was less than enthusiastic about another night slipping quietly under the covers next to his girlfriend. The morning would bring more questions, more where-have-you-beens, and he couldn't deal with that right now. The night air embraced him without asking anything, and he was beginning to find more and more comfort in the solitude of his late night walks. Dev sighed, watching his breath wisp away, like he knew his relationship with Karen was.

Karen Cartwright. The source of his greatest pleasures and simultaneously his deepest pains, his deepest worries. He had work issues, other problems – but they all took a backseat for her. She was so beautiful, so talented, so _perfect_; he had no idea why she wanted him. He was so afraid of disappointing her. Why, she was in a nationally televised commercial! She was in contention to be the lead role in a Broadway musical! _He_, on the other hand, couldn't even get a job as Press Secretary. Dev had worked so hard for that promotion, put so many hours in, even resorted to slightly unscrupulous methods: and all for naught. The job mattered a lot to him, but what mattered more was what Karen thought of him. He'd been so worried about letting her down that he didn't tell her. So, when she confronted him about it, he'd gotten defensive. Rather than try to explain, he dodged it and turned it back around on her, avoiding the issue as best he could. Then she'd invited him to a movie. Dev didn't go. When he spent time with Karen, he just seemed to mess things up more. Like with that director, Derek. Dev shouldn't have punched him, he knows that know. But he did, and he couldn't explain to Karen that he was scared, terrified, that she'd leave him for someone else. Couldn't explain how he wanted to protect her and provide for her and let her chase her dreams.

He couldn't explain because he knew he felt more strongly for her than she did for him. She'd said as much, after he'd mentioned the possibility of going to D.C. for the job opening. No, Karen Cartwright did not love Dev the way he loved her. So he kept on trying to show he cared, trying to be the perfect guy for his perfect girl – but it wasn't working. He always messed up. Now he was lying to her and avoiding her and watching their relationship implode. It was no good. _He_ was no good. She deserved better. She deserved someone who could care for her and treat her well. She deserved someone who could manage to get a big promotion, land a big job. She deserved someone who she could love and respect and that someone was not Dev.

He looked up and found that his convoluted path had led him to his ultimate destination. Dev paused before going up the steps, and glanced at his watch. It was nearly 2 a.m. Karen would be sound asleep right now – he would have to answer for his actions in the morning, but not now. Dev unlocked the door of their apartment, trying his best to be quiet and discreet, but when he opened it he found the lights on and a tired girlfriend sitting at the kitchen table.

She looked beautiful. Exhausted, but beautiful. So beautiful that it pained Dev to look at her. She had stayed up for him, waiting until the wee hours of the morning. Was there anyone as kind or compassionate as she was? He didn't deserve this, didn't deserve her.

"Dev," came her voice, soft and pretty, not accusatory, not angry, not at all what he expected. "Dev," she repeated, now moving from her chair to him. "Where have you been?" There was the question he'd been waiting for, the question he'd been anticipating. But he had anticipated rage, resentment, not this quiet, loving acceptance. He stood still as she took his coat, putting it over on the hook, and led him to their bed, sitting him down and then joining him. She linked her hand with his, and looked at Dev with sorrowful eyes.

"What's the matter, babe?" She was being so nice, so caring, and he just couldn't take it anymore, couldn't keep holding it in. Dev collapsed on her shoulder, tears rushing out in gusts, the dam finally broken, his feelings finally allowed to be free. She murmured soft comforts into his ears and held him in her arms. Dev loved this girl so much, loved her more with each passing day, even when he tried to distance himself from her.

He clung to her as he drifted off to sleep, peaceful for the first time in a while, hoping he could make things better come the morning.

**A/N:** Hope you all enjoyed it! This is my first Smash fic, and it looks like the first Karen/Dev fic on the site. I love their relationship. It's so pure and supportive, or at least it was until Dev started being weird… but I hope it can go back to that. Looking at the previews for next week (episode 12) it doesn't look good. But I don't want them to break up and this is how I picture it. I think Dev has a lot of internal conflict and a few self-esteem issues, or at least that's how I interpret a lot of his actions. He truly does care for Karen, he just gets a little confused sometimes and loses his confidence. I think RJ is just a friend, maybe she feels a little something for Dev but I really don't think he returns that in any significant way, shape, or form.

But all that's just me. Thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated!

P.S. Kudos to anyone who manages to catch the slight Guys and Dolls reference in there!


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